My mother passed away unexpectedly at 65 on March 5. I’m her solely little one, and she by no means remarried after divorcing my dad in 1991.
She left behind a companion of 31 years — a person she didn’t marry, despite a number of proposals and alternatives, as a result of she didn’t belief him financially. (He’s all the time concerned in some cockamamie enterprise scheme.)
In later years, she turned centered on leaving me one thing as a result of she felt unhealthy about not having had extra sources after I was youthful. She didn’t need any of that encumbered by him or his six youngsters.
‘My mother’s companion is seven years older than my mother. For that purpose, we all the time assumed that she would outlive him, and we by no means mentioned what to do within the reverse case.’
My mom’s companion is seven years older than my mother. For that purpose, we all the time assumed that she would outlive him, and we by no means mentioned what to do within the reverse case. As her foremost inheritor, I stand to inherit her dwelling, the place he at the moment lives, which my mother bought earlier than her loss of life and which was partially transformed utilizing cash I gave my mother from my inheritance from my dad.
There’s a small mortgage cost of $480 a month on it, and I had dedicated to creating these funds for my mother in her retirement. He was not a celebration to any of those discussions or preparations.
When she passed, I initially assumed I’d carry the duty of paying the mortgage till he passed, at which era I’d both promote or transfer into the house. In the time since, I’ve had much more readability of thought, and I wish to transfer into the house myself. For one, it will give me the monetary freedom that my mother all the time needed for herself however by no means discovered, and I do know that may make her pleased.
‘My current plan is to sit down with him in a few weeks when I pay off and sign her car over to him, and let him know that I plan to live in the house myself.’
My present plan is to take a seat down with him in just a few weeks after I repay and signal her automotive over to him, and let him know that I plan to stay within the house myself however can wait a 12 months for him to determine what he wish to do, and discover a new place. He has a son about two hours away, and that seems to me to be a greater match than a 72-year-old man predisposed to conspiracy theories dwelling alone.
What do you suppose my moral obligations are right here? On the one hand, I don’t wish to put a 70-something-year-old man on the road. On the opposite, my mother had 31 years to make sure he was offered for — or a minimum of ask me to make sure he was — and by no means did both of these issues. I feel that speaks volumes as to how she noticed their relationship, although he doesn’t see it the identical manner.
Son & Heir
The onerous fact is that in case your mom had needed her companion to stay there after she was gone, she would have given him a life property within the property so he may stay there the remainder of his days, earlier than the house went to you. At the very least, she would have advised you of her needs and left it in your arms.
But she didn’t want that burden for you — would he preserve the house and pay for its repairs? — and there may be the problem of the excellent mortgage that you’d nonetheless must pay. He didn’t pay lease there whereas your mom was alive, and it will most likely appear odd to ask him to pay lease now that she’s gone.
So she got here up with the present resolution: You get the lot, and her companion is left out of the authorized loop. Of course, the best harm to him — as a lot as one may name it an harm — is that none of this was mentioned with him earlier than she passed. Perhaps she didn’t belief him, or felt he would stress her into one other end result.
Your obligation to him partly depends upon your relationship with him — and, from what you say, he was your mom’s companion, not your stepfather. While you had been pleased that your mom had a companion, you had been conscious of his shortcomings financially, and perceive why they by no means commingled their property.
Your obligation to him partly depends upon your relationship with him — and, from what you say, he was your mom’s companion, not your stepfather.
You don’t regard him as a stepfather. Whether he regards you as a stepson is one other problem, one for him, and his emotions for it’s possible you’ll be influenced by his monetary dependence on you. He have to be questioning in regards to the mortgage, the way it will receives a commission, who pays it, and what his future holds as a resident of this property.
He lived there for 31 years, presumably with out incurring a lot expense and with honest warning that your mom didn’t wish to marry or share her property with him. Perhaps he too believed he would predecease your mom, however he additionally had 31 years to save lots of and make inroads towards his personal monetary independence.
For that purpose — and partly as a result of he has a son of his personal — giving him one 12 months to make plans and maybe lease a smaller place appears honest to me. “Fair” is a humorous phrase. It’s subjective and amorphous, and it adjustments relying in your vantage level. You and your mom’s companion are navigating a corridor of mirrors of equity.
You are fulfilling your obligations to your self and your mom and, to an extent, you are tying a bow round your remaining obligations to him. Your mom didn’t wish to cope with this example, and so she left it as much as you to kind out. Both the worth and the reward for that’s your personal monetary independence.
She had each proper to offer that to you.
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