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‘I’m a Wedding Planner—This Is What It’s Like Behind-The-Scenes’

When you speak to marriage ceremony planners, we’ve got typically taken very totally different pathways into the work. I accomplished a masters in engineering and labored for an funding financial institution, however finally I needed to be my very own boss and do one thing that I’d discover extra significant and artistic.

I wasn’t notably concerned with weddings after I was rising up and I actually did not dream about my marriage ceremony day, however when it got here to planning my marriage ceremony in 2010, I actually beloved each facet of it. Perhaps it is a little cliched, however it opened my eyes to the world of weddings in New York and I fell down a rabbit gap of desirous to examine weddings each day.

In 2011, I made a decision to launch my very own marriage ceremony planning enterprise and it was attention-grabbing to right away see how lots of the expertise I had realized on the buying and selling ground of a financial institution transferred over. I’m very responsive and good at working with totally different folks, and a few of that got here from my experiences on a buying and selling ground of a financial institution. If the telephone rang for a couple of ring on the buying and selling ground, you have been in bother—that was the mentality. I used to be additionally coping with a large vary of individuals and typically that features troublesome personalities. The marriage ceremony trade is just not too dissimilar.

Plans, budgets and turning desires into actuality

I’ve deliberate 70 weddings of various sizes in and round New York thus far. A pair will come to me when they’re planning to marry and we’ll start by discussing the kind of venue they need, the variety of friends and their price range.

Typically my purchasers are hiring me 12 to 18 months out and I’ll be normally planning 10 weddings at anyone time as a result of I normally work on eight weddings a 12 months. The peak day and time for a marriage ceremony is a Saturday night time and in New York the height marriage ceremony months are May by October. Here, the extra in style marriage ceremony venues—akin to Blue Hill at Stone Barns, Rainbow Room and The Plaza—can e-book out as much as a 12 months upfront.

So, my first step is at all times reaching out to venues, arranging web site visits for the couple and dealing with bookings. Then we’ll undergo all the opposite distributors and guarantee every thing is the suitable match. The “big ones” we kind out first are at all times the band or DJ, the photographer and the videographer. Next can be the floral designer. We’ll additionally cowl every thing together with the invitation, officiant, gown, stylist, hair and make-up, transport, lighting, staging, leases, furnishings, valet and, after all, the marriage cake. I really like serving to a couple discover the entire proper folks.

The largest price range I’ve labored with was near $500,000. The marriage ceremony was at a greater finish venue with 250 friends. So on high of the venue price, the fee per head for meals was $425 per particular person. That alone was $140,000 together with the executive price and tax. Of course, some prices remained the identical, just like the band, however every thing else needed to be scaled up. For instance, we deliberate flowers and pin spot lighting for 25 tables after which despatched out 140 invites.

It actually helps to clarify the rationale behind the prices to my purchasers. There is a large worth vary for marriage ceremony flowers, like each different facet of a marriage ceremony, however a lot of the budgets I work on can be between $20,000 to $40,000. If the price of a bunch of flowers out of your native bodega, that may appear stunning. So I’ll clarify what goes into making ready flowers for a marriage ceremony day. It contains the planning and design conferences with the florist and their head designer and the folks they’re hiring within the lead as much as your marriage ceremony day to arrange and organize your flowers. The florist additionally has to pay for a studio area in New York, insurance coverage, transport and refrigeration to convey the flowers to the venue. Then, they must spend time putting in and eradicating them. Now marriage ceremony companies are additionally having to contemplate PPE and COVID-19 testing for his or her groups as effectively.

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This understanding and transparency implies that taking up purchasers is at all times a two means course of. Obviously the couple is interviewing me, however I’m additionally interviewing them to ensure it is a good match, and I’ve turned folks down.

Once I used to be in a assembly and I discovered the way in which the bride spoke to her mom to be very disrespectful. If that was how she would communicate to her mom, I could not think about how she would communicate to me or any of the opposite folks concerned within the marriage ceremony. I undoubtedly don’t stand for anybody who’s going to deal with me, my staff or any of the folks working with us in a means that’s not respectful.

What actually occurs on the large day

On the day of the marriage, I’ll at all times be in attendance from early morning till the tip of the day and I normally have two assistants with me who I work with utilizing two-way radio, notably if we’re flipping the venue. Flipping implies that we set the area up fantastically for the ceremony and when everybody goes for cocktails, we’ve got to flip the room into the dinner setting, typically in below an hour.

One flip I labored on at New York’s Gotham Hall concerned organising the tables and the flowers on the similar time, because the lighting technicians have been transferring across the room on a elevate to pin spot lights onto the tables. Flipping a marriage ceremony venue is somewhat like a messy ballet. In this case, one of many tall floral arrangements was knocked over by a lighting technician and glass went in every single place. So, I at all times work with distributors who’re very skilled and are going to be bringing further flowers, vases and workers to deal with any such issues.

All marriage ceremony planners could have an emergency bag filled with something that could be requested for on a marriage ceremony day. I can get requested for a lot of random gadgets; bridesmaids could be asking for whitening strips for his or her tooth, and painkillers, band aids and security pins are at all times requested. The bag grows over time and at the moment contains heel stoppers, a stitching equipment and tide pens. The most uncommon request I’ve had thus far is for boob tape, however I’m positive there can be even stranger asks sooner or later.

Because many issues can doubtlessly go mistaken on the day of a marriage ceremony, a planner is commonly fixing points behind-the-scenes to keep away from anybody discovering out, notably the couple getting married. I had one marriage ceremony the place we constructed a Chuppah open air. An enormous gust of wind blew the Chuppah over and we had a mad scramble as a result of the friends have been nearly to reach. Loads of my job is drawback fixing and ensuring everybody has a actually good time with out realizing the issue fixing is happening!

The final massive and elaborate marriage ceremony I labored on earlier than the COVID-19 pandemic had a Chinese bride and an Indian groom and it was held on the Mandarin Oriental in New York. We have been there at 6am organising as there was a 10am begin for the Hindu portion of the marriage, with breakfast and the baraat; the groom’s marriage ceremony procession. The groom was on a lovely white horse in fantastic, ornate regalia, surrounded by his groomsmen and we had a dohl drummer and a DJ arrange on the again of a white pickup truck. This was all at Columbus Circle on the nook of Central Park. We had employed safety who stopped visitors so we might convey the entire occasion and 200 friends by to the lodge. It was so enjoyable to see folks dancing on the street!

Then we had the Hindu ceremony, with a cocktail reception. People went dwelling to vary as my staff and I have been busy flipping the ballroom for the Catholic night ceremony, which was adopted by dinner and dancing. The couple and their buddies then went on to an after occasion at midnight, so I used to be extraordinarily impressed with their stamina.


I really like sending the bride down the aisle and standing on the again to look at. I’ve a tear in my eye at each bridal ceremony, however the weddings which might be notably emotional for me are those the place one of many dad and mom has handed. It’s at all times actually troublesome and we regularly strive to determine methods to honor that particular person throughout the ceremony. Recently a bride’s mother had handed so she had a lovely image body brooch pinned to her bouquet. She had defined that a girl bug was symbolic of her mother, so we additionally had a sugar ladybug tucked into the marriage cake flowers.

My absolute favourite second in each marriage ceremony is after we’ve arrange the room for dinner and dancing after the ceremony. The candles are lit, the band is simply beginning to play and we start to ask folks into the room. I really like seeing everybody’s response. Some persons are so blown away they’re going to cease on the door and take photos. Sneaking the couple in to take a have a look at the room earlier than we invite the friends in can also be nice.

How COVID-19 has affected the marriage trade

Because of the pandemic, 2020 was pretty quiet for many people within the marriage ceremony planning trade, although I did plan a marriage ceremony that was scaled down from 175 friends to 40. It solely took two weeks, however most parts had been deliberate and we have been figuring out find out how to scale it down. Another marriage ceremony I deliberate in fall 2020 was scaled all the way down to 37 folks.

Now, I’m truly planning extra weddings than regular due to all of the cancellations and planning forward. I’ve virtually all of 2022 booked, although I’ll tackle one or two extra purchasers. I’m at all times cautious as a result of I by no means need my purchasers to really feel like they don’t seem to be getting the eye they want and I additionally want some work-life stability as a result of I’ve two younger youngsters.

Lots of people have needed to cope with difficulties this previous 12 months with the pandemic and I do perceive the way it should really feel to be wanting ahead to getting married after which have your marriage ceremony rescheduled. I’ve been fortunate as my purchasers have been fantastic and so understanding. Some have even offered remaining funds upfront to help me.

But, I’ve additionally heard from different marriage ceremony planners about folks having to cope with a lot emotionally and subsequently not treating the folks they’ve employed in a very good means.

I’ve had troublesome purchasers throughout my time as a marriage ceremony planner, however I believe mistrust is what makes it troublesome. If a consumer would not belief me, or the venue or distributors, the planning course of can turn out to be troublesome. And after all, like every thing, companions can disagree on elements of the marriage!

Wedding planner, weddings, marriage, couples
Tzo Ai Ang of Ang Weddings and Events.
Jen Huang

Often, dad and mom are internet hosting and paying for the marriage and should need to get very concerned. Disagreements sometimes relate to the design facet, for instance, the flowers. The couple could be very understated and wish a clear look, whereas the dad and mom choose a lot of heavy, lush flowers. I really need the couple marrying to be blissful as a result of it is their day, however I additionally must respect the dad and mom as a result of they’re internet hosting. Sometimes my job is to mediate disagreements or gently steer issues in a course that can enable a fruitful conclusion!

My recommendation to {couples} planning their marriage ceremony


For {couples} who are actually planning their marriage ceremony, I’d after all recommend hiring a marriage ceremony planner in case your price range permits. Planners know the trade and take stress away from you. If you do not have the price range, I recommend getting referrals for the important thing distributors like florists or photographers from your folks. You may even ask your photographer if there’s a florist they’ve actually favored. In the marriage trade most individuals know one different after having labored collectively so typically.

Leading as much as the marriage, folks can lose sight of why they’re truly going by this course of: as a result of two folks love one another and are getting married. I’ve seen folks get actually caught into the nitty gritty particulars. So, my recommendation can be to attempt to keep away from sweating the small stuff and lean on the professionals you are hiring: your florist and your designers. Also, don’t fret about what your folks have accomplished or what everybody else is doing. This is your marriage ceremony, so make it your personal.

On the day, it is so vital to essentially get pleasure from yourselves. The couple shouldn’t be worrying in regards to the arrange or the bus of friends arriving. Weddings are sometimes a six hour occasion in New York and people six hours fly by. Your marriage ceremony day passes so shortly, it is vital to essentially simply step again and revel in it along with your marriage ceremony occasion, your loved ones and your closest buddies.

Tzo Ai Ang is the founder and CEO of Ang Weddings and Events, primarily based in New York City. Founded in 2011, Ang Weddings and Events has deliberate intimate affairs for 40 friends to extra elaborate weddings for 300 friends. You can observe them on Instagram @angweddingsny.

All views expressed on this article are the writer’s personal.

As advised to Jenny Haward.



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