Relationship

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships – 10 Characteristics


Most issues in life are higher understood with context. We usually don’t know the place we’re going unsuitable, just because we don’t know what ‘right’ is.  If your thoughts retains circling again to your relationship and some doubts you might have about it, you’re in the suitable place. I’m right here to present you some context by elaborating on wholesome vs. unhealthy relationships and the 10 variations between them.

You’re in for a trip, and right here’s a good warning – it’d get a teensy bit uncomfortable. For immediately’s actuality examine (as a result of that’s what it’s!) I’ve Nandita Rambhia (MSc, Applied Psychology) with me. With an expertise of over a decade in psychotherapy, Nandita has a couple of glowing observations to make and a few priceless steerage to present.

Let’s dive deep into the world of relationships and navigate the 2 ends of the spectrum on which they exist. It’s time to find the place you stand. Do you exhibit the indicators of a wholesome relationship when relationship?

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships – 10 Differences

It’s vital to not confuse ‘healthy’ with ‘perfect.’ The distinction between these two is that wholesome relationships truly exist, whereas excellent ones don’t. If you’re chasing the dream of a rom-com relationship, permit me to softly pop your bubble.

You must be striving for a bond the place you and your associate love, nurture, and assist one another. Where you may have your share of ugly fights and disagreements, and even lose your mood with one another. Because you see, it’s humanly inconceivable for 2 folks to be in full settlement always.

A wholesome relationship development feels rather a lot like residence. On the opposite hand…a poisonous one feels rather a lot like a being in a full physique forged. Something is all the time damaged, you’re in fixed ache, and regardless of how badly YOU wish to heal, the physician simply refuses to do his job.

Here are 10 variations that designate wholesome vs. unhealthy relationships. Are you prepared? Let’s go!

Related Reading: Relationship Advice For Couples- 25 Ways To Strengthen Your Bond

1. Open vs. Hostile communication

Nandita laughs as she begins speaking concerning the significance of communication, “I’m sure people are tired of hearing this and I’m tired of repeating it too. Communication (good or bad) is one of the determiners of a relationship.”

A wholesome relationship is constructed on stable and trustworthy communication. The companions share the highlights of their day, specific any resentment they could maintain, and talk about their emotions with maturity and understanding. They voice their considerations and problem-solve actively.

But companions in an unhealthy relationship resort to passive aggressiveness, shoving issues underneath the carpet, or outright yelling. They are incapable of greedy the place the opposite comes from, and are pushed by a must be proper. They place blame, and take no accountability.

Explaining, Nandita says that companions use a tone that’s involved with clearing themselves of any errors. (*10*)

2. Trust vs. Mistrust

A powerful relationship is constructed on the inspiration of mutual belief and religion. Both people are very safe of their connection and rarely get insecure. Relationships primarily based on belief don’t see situations of infidelity fairly often.

If a relationship is characterised by fixed insecurity and jealousy then we peg it as an unhealthy one. Nandita says, “Trust issues usually come in later between couples. They might stem from one partner’s infidelity – emotional or sexual. It gets difficult for the one who’s been cheated on to trust again.”

Checking your associate’s cellphone, their bank card receipts, following them round or interrogating them after they’re going out, are all indicators of distrust. It means you may’t take what they’re saying at face worth. Conflicts of belief can result in emotional and bodily distance between companions.

Relationships which lack belief aren’t sustainable sooner or later. Trust issues must be addressed with an expert. We at Bonobology have a number of relationship specialists which can be a click on away that will help you!

infographic for healthy vs unhealthy relationships

3. Individuality vs. Controlling habits – Healthy vs. unhealthy relationships situations

A relationship is an important a part of our lives, nevertheless it can’t be the one factor we commit our energies to. It is essential for each folks to take care of their individuality by way of their careers, pals, households, hobbies, and so forth. Retaining an area that’s simply your individual is significant.

An unhealthy relationship is obvious when each companions are minimize off from the remainder of the world and concerned solely with one another. When one of many companions tries to interrupt away from this cycle, the other gets possessive. This is why we discuss wholesome vs. unhealthy relationships.

Controlling what your associate desires to do, how they wish to costume, or who they wish to meet, are all large no-nos. “There has to be more to your life. Your partner is someone you go home to at the end of the day, so don’t forget to leave the house…”

Nandita additional explains, “You have to maintain a sense of self that is distinct from your boyfriend or girlfriend. A good relationship rests on the coming together of two healthy, happy souls. Don’t try and fuse yourselves into one being.”

4. Respect vs. Disrespect

There are numerous methods of expressing respect for your partner in public in addition to non-public. Treating them like an equal, by no means utilizing a condescending tone, and being essential if you end up each by your self are indicators of a wholesome relationship when relationship.

Even the disagreements don’t sink to private assaults or screaming. Shaming your associate for his or her age or weight, being sexist, or being dismissive are all warning indicators of toxicity. Ditto for making crass jokes or undermining their accomplishments.

Even while you don’t perceive what your associate is all about, you may’t be dismissive or disregard them. Always be cognizant of the tone you employ while you’re speaking to your higher half and keep wholesome relationship boundaries.

Under the identical umbrella of respect comes the standard of standing up in your associate, and having their again. This is among the most important wholesome relationship suggestions for {couples}. Being of their nook is an indication that your relationship is a precedence in your life.

Related Reading: Top 9 Tips To Build Trust In Relationships

5. Compromise vs. Selfishness

You stroll 5 steps, your associate walks 5 too. There’s nothing merrier than the center path! A wholesome relationship strikes the stability between what two folks need. On some days you decide a film, on others he chooses the restaurant. Think of it like a seesaw going up and down.

But an unhealthy relationship bears the trademark of selfishness. When one (or each) of you insist on getting your method on a regular basis, you fail to know what makes a relationship work. Nandita agrees, “Compromise is like fuel, it keeps the engine running.”

This selfishness can also stem from the narcissism of 1 associate. If they’re centered round their wants and needs, it is vitally troublesome to get your level throughout. Selfishness manifests itself within the emotional, sexual, and sensible spheres of life. Make positive you aren’t the selfish one in the relationship.

It’s what Nassim Taleb wrote, “Love without sacrifice is like theft.” This is certainly one of many biggest variations between a wholesome vs. unhealthy relationship.

6. Healthy sexual patterns vs. Sexual violence 

Physical intimacy is a serious side of any relationship and wholesome patterns are of the utmost significance right here. Taking your associate’s consent, indulging in fetishes or actions you’re each comfy with, having a secure phrase, and utilizing correct contraception and security measures are indicators of a superb relationship.

Being sexually abusive, assuming consent when your associate is inebriated, or making them take part in sexual fantasies they aren’t precisely okay with isn’t just an indication of an unhealthy relationship, however that of a poisonous one.

Along related traces, impregnating your girlfriend/spouse with out her express consent, or forcing her to make use of contraception somewhat than sporting a condom can also be unacceptable. There must be full settlement from each ends earlier than a sexual act is carried out. This is among the much-needed wholesome relationship suggestions for {couples}.

Please don’t use 50 Shades of Grey (or something remotely related) as a template in your intercourse life. Here’s your periodic reminder to apply secure intercourse with your beloved. Watch out for these wholesome relationship boundaries!

Related Reading: Sexual Compatibility – Meaning, Importance And Signs

7. Honesty vs. Dishonesty

“There are levels of honesty when you’re dating someone. It does not just mean literally speaking the truth, but being honest in the relationship. Are you your most authentic self with your partner? Have you been faithful to them? Were you honest in conveying your intentions about the relationship?” Nandita says.

A powerful relationship is one the place each folks can keep their integrity by staying true to themselves. Consequently, they’re devoted to their associate and the way forward for the connection. These are all indicators of a wholesome relationship when relationship.

If you might be relationship somebody who constantly lies, it implies a scarcity of belief. Needless to say, an unhealthy bond primarily based on fabrications can’t final. Your associate will ultimately should see a unique facet of you, as a result of maintaining pretenses will get exhausting.

Cheating in your girlfriend or boyfriend can also be being dishonest and betraying their trust. When you concentrate on what makes wholesome vs. unhealthy relationships your observations might be fairly placing. They make you rethink quite a lot of issues and make it easier to determine the weak spots in your individual self.

unhealthy relationship

8. Fighting honest vs. Fighting soiled

Everyone fights, it’s inevitable. And generally, it’s even wholesome. Voicing our anger and venting our emotions can relieve us of our emotional turmoil significantly. But even throughout its preventing phases, a robust relationship doesn’t crumble. This is as a result of each companions battle honest and keep healthy relationship boundaries.

Petty insults, private assaults, utilizing insecurities as a weapon, or bodily and psychological abuse are saved at bay when two mature adults argue. They give attention to the issue at hand with out trailing off to matters that bear no consequence. Here lies the important thing distinction between wholesome vs. unhealthy relationships.

Nandita says, “Differences aren’t new. Who doesn’t have them? The trick lies in handling them sanely. Gaslighting, manipulation, throwing things around or banging doors are so unnecessary and detrimental.”

It’s additionally crucial to notice {that a} wholesome relationship’s development after a battle is completely different. The companions really forgive and don’t maintain any grudges. “It’s not healthy to dig up the skeletons of the past each time you argue,” reminds Nandita.

9. Involvement vs. Passivity

It’s not all the time simple to do not forget that a relationship is a piece in progress. The traits of a wholesome relationship are each companions working to maintain the spark alive. They train gratitude and make considerate gestures in direction of one another. They are invested within the relationship equally.

But if the connection is being sustained by one-sided efforts (or no efforts in any respect), then it’s an unhealthy one. It’s unfair to count on one individual to do the heavy-lifting as a result of they are going to burn out ultimately. Efforts right here imply emotional and bodily!

Nandita offers the most effective wholesome relationship suggestions, “Take some time out of your routine with your partner. No work, no daily hassles, just the both of you. Maybe go on a vacation or a fancy date. The reason behind this is that we’re very distracted on a usual day. Our partners don’t get our undivided attention.”

As an afterthought she provides, “And get off your phones please. Nothing more annoying than some app hogging your time while an actual person waits for you to finish.” Hashtag not cool!

Related Reading: 6 Signs You Are In A One-Sided Relationship

10. Healthy vs. unhealthy relationships situations – Acceptance vs. Criticism

This is maybe probably the most misunderstood high quality by {couples}. ‘Acceptance’ doesn’t imply being okay with ALL your associate’s qualities, together with the unfavourable ones. It simply means not making an attempt to alter who they intrinsically are as an individual. Don’t try to style them into your thought of what he/she must be.

An unhealthy relationship usually sees companions criticizing one another relentlessly, making an attempt to one-up the borderline insulting feedback. Nandita sighs, “It’s exhausting to watch two people just rip into each other. And what for? Which medal is the winner getting?”

One of probably the most outstanding characteristics of a healthy relationship is embracing your associate’s uniqueness and being tolerant of their flaws. Even the criticism which you levy must be carried out in a non-hostile method. The purpose of criticism is enchancment, not insult.

A criticism pushed relationship is one thing that takes work to heal. Both folks concerned should be keen to shift their mindsets and break free from the hostility they’re holding on to.

Here we come to the tip of our comparative evaluation of wholesome vs. unhealthy relationships situations. I hope you now have loads of context and much more meals for thought. How did you get alongside on these parameters? And the place does your relationship fall? Write to us and tell us. May you solely see a wholesome relationship development in your life!

15 Characteristics Of A Healthy Relationship

23 Signs Of An Unhealthy Relationship

Power Dynamics In Relationships – How To Keep It Healthy



Source Link – www.bonobology.com

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